At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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