I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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