Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize