I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
