I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
