I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They took my balls.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
