2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize