he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
