There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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