Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
