Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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