woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We got so high we made milksteak
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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