Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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