just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
