Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
