In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
