Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
