Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
