She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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