i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
