u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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