we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
