out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
