What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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