haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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