I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Randomize
