we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
