Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
