About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
