What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
