I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
