You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
