Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
