Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just invented taco cereal.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
