very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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