Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize