I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
