I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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