grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
