I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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