dude i'm inner monologue high
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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