no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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