I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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