I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Two words: blizzard sex
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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