i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
