i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
