she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
