How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
