that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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