We're facebook friends in real life
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
