lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
