I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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