Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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