There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
