I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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