no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
