we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
